There's still hope for me

Some recent research has revealed that heavy drinkers outlive nondrinkers. Take that, teetotalers and crazy religious folk! (However, they do say that moderate drinkers live longest of the three groups compared in the study.) And since I don't write poetry anymore, by my estimation I should live, approximately, forever. There goes my plan to die young. Maybe by the time I'm 106 I can afford a house of my own.