Tuesday, June 17, 2008

In which I develop dyspepsia

Lately, my speech has been assuming dyslexic or aphasic tendencies. I've been subconsciously substituting the wrong words into my conversation.

For example, the other day Rowan was wearing a crocheted shirt. I described it as croqueted.

I said two people were in "cohorts" when I meant "cahoots."

I've been mixing up numbers, such as saying "seven" when I mean "eleven."

These slips have been frequent enough that other people have noticed. I hope it's not a tumor.


I had another one of those weird moments where I got antagonistic with a co-worker.

My boss said she felt like beer and chips. She knew we had beer in the fridge, and I informed her that we also had chips.

"No we don't," one of my co-workers chirped.

"Yes we do," I responded.

"No we don't," she said again.

"Yes we do," I countered. "I can see them from where I'm standing. They are right there." I pointed emphatically toward the kitchen. "I can show them to you if you want."

She still didn't seem to believe me.

Later, as I was working quietly, another co-worker suddenly said, with no provocation, "I can see them from where I'm standing," and began to giggle. This action made me realize how absurd the earlier exchange was.

At the end of the day, I was getting ready to head to physical therapy, where they would put me in the traction machine. I told my co-workers I was off to therapy.

"Talk therapy?" the woman I had spoken words with earlier asked. I don't know if she was joking or trying to say I need emotional help.

What I really need, I think, is for people to believe me when I tell them things. Except when I mess the words up and it doesn't make sense.


Seth said...

I will debate any topic. Or converse. Or whatever you want.

I have trouble with words, too. In fact, right now I'm trying to think of the term (from linguistics) for the reversal of sounds within a word--an internal spoonerism. This feature of language generally describes the evolution from Old English "brid" and "flutterby" to "bird" and "butterfly." So...maybe it's just that your language is super-evolved. Can you manipulate the physical realm with your thoughts?

Kurd said...

I believe the reversal of sounds is considered an articulation disorder, with a problem referred to, quite simply, as substituting. The result could be considered an example of neologic paraphasia, or a new word resulting from disordered language. And yes, I can manipulate the physical realm with my thoughts by using my thoughts to manipulate my body which manipulates the physical realm. With some practice, you may be able to do this, as well.